Messing with the Man

3/22/06

Here is an exercise that can put a little perspective on things.

The next time you get one of these Snapper-Head telemarketers on the horn, politely answer his "How are you" type scripted questions and let him go through his spiel. It doesn't matter what this captain of industry is hawking just let him talk. When he finally gets to his moment of truth ("Can I put you down for that sir?") say either a terse "no" or do not say anything at all. The clown's next response will most likely be another scripted "Refusal Response." Since you only said no without any particular reason he might be flummoxed, but let him talk some more.

Now here comes The Sting!!!

After he is done with his ludicrous reply (Actually probably a very reasoned, rationale answer but, in reality, on par with a Dali/Bunuel absurdist scene when you take into account the circumstances, i.e. total stranger asking you for money just before you are about to sit down and eat in your own home.) one thing, and one thing only, is extremely crucial:

***DO NOT SAY A WORD***

The joker on the other end of the phone will be completely flustered. For the rest of the call DO NOT ANSWER anything he asks accept for "Are you still there?" type inquiries which you respond chipperly yes or any derivitive of. He is trained to "Let the customer hang up first" so unless you hang up he should not.

Marvel at the length of time that is spent in "awkward silences."

Laugh out loud at the comical things this guy says...over and over again...when he haplessly recites answers although he has no idea what he is responding to.

Become incensed when he starts putting words in your mouth in a straw grasping exercise in an attempt to "close the deal."

And then weep uncontrollably when you think about the current President of the United States.

You get what you pay for.
Larry