Two Peas in a Pod

9/20/06


In preparation to the upcoming Fall Classic, I want to report on the sports world. I want to thank the New York Post in advance for supplying me with the second hand quotes that follow. They were originally printed in the latest issue of Sports Illustrated.

New York Yankees slugger Jason Giambi, an overpaid jerk, decided to make some disparaging comments about his teammate, Alex Rodriguez, another mega-millionaire player who has not had the best of years as far as baseball goes. Evidently Mr. Giambi (The Giambino) was a tad disappointed at Rodriguez's (A-Rod) less than clutch performance at Home Plate. Here are some nuggets from the article:

"He's guessing, and he's doing a bad job of it, which is inevitable when you guess as often as he guesses. He's squeezing the freaking sawdust out of the bat."


"I told (Joe) Torre, 'Tell him like you did to me. 'This is what we want, this is what we expect, this is what we need,' instead of going, 'Oh, you're going to be OK.' Especially when you're struggling like that."

Even if you agree with what Master J.G. is saying...and I do...it is a major faux pas in the Major Leagues to go to a media outlet and totally rag on your teammate. They are suppose to be in it together etc. Public comments such as these can only cause division and strife within the clubhouse. The other players will most likely be forced to take a side. Energy will have to be wasted in an attempt to achieve unity again. They're the kind of statements that tear a group apart.

That applies to any workplace really.

The rift seems to have started during the Red Sox series when the Yankees swept a five game series with their arch-rivals. Rodriguez's performance was less than stellar and Mr. Giambi started to feel some concern for the well being of the $25,000,000 man. Giambi confronted him in the clubhouse:

J.G.:"We're all rooting for you and we're behind you 100 percent, but you've got to get the big hit."

ROD:"What do you mean? I've had five hits in Boston."

J.G.:"You freaking call those hits!?! You had two freaking dinkers to rightfield and a ball that bounced over the third baseman! Look at how many pitches you missed."

TELL IT LIKE IT IS SISTER!

But Mr. Rodriguez was not going to take this, in his mind, unwarranted criticism lying down. He had some things to say too and, of course, he decided that a national media outlet was the proper place to air his grievances. Here are a couple of gems from the A-Rod Book of Humility:

"I can't help that I'm a bright person, I know that's not a great quote to give, but I can't pretend to play dumb and stupid."

"Reggie (Jackson) hit .230 one year. That's awful. He struck out 170-something times in a year. I don't care who you are, extremes are just part of the game. I was awful (in Anaheim), but (Derek) Jeter was 0 for 32 [in 2004], Mo (Rivera) blew three games in one week. Everybody goes through it."

"(Mike) Mussina doesn't get hammered at all. He's making a boatload of money. Giambi's making $20.4 million, which is fine and dandy, but it seems those guys get a pass. When people write (bad things) about me, I don't know if it's (because) I'm good-looking, I'm bi-racial, I make the most money, I play on the most popular team ... "

Yeah. That must be it.

As priceless as those quotes are, and a beautiful example of just how fucked up our values are, the comment that really caught my eye was from Giambi. The writer used it as a dramatic ending to an already blistering he said/she said report:

"Alex doesn't know who he is. We're going to find out who he is in the next couple of months."

Heavy shit, man. Heavy shit.

Unfortunately, we won't have to wait as long to find out who you are...

We already know.

Have another one...on me.

Can't you imagine Jeter crying in his beer right now?

Larry