Fernando - You Look Marvelous!!!!

9/29/05
New York City

As Phil Rizzuto once quipped, "We got a real pressure cooker here."

Here in the Big Apple, a Battle Royale is beginning to shape up in the mayoral election next month. Billionaire Republican incumbent, Mike Bloomberg’s bottomless pockets and obscene bank accounts, are facing off against self-described "Man of the People" former Bronx Borough President Ferdinand Ferrer.

Holy Mother…

I can’t believe the Democrats fucked up again!!!

No, I haven’t took leave of my senses and…yes…I want Bloomberg out of office just as much as anyone else who has the remotest inkling on what it means to feel any empathy, compassion or hope …but lets get real here.

Ferrer is a complete loser.

I’ve always had my doubts about this guy, but what sealed the deal for me was this latest news story about how this clown had a posting on his "web blog," signed by him, waxing poetic about how good the public school system is because, after all, HE went to public schools HIMSELF and probably would have ended up in the gutter if not for the "caring public school teachers," etc. etc.

Yeah, you guessed it.

It turns out this asshole went to Catholic Private schools all his life, and, after he made a specific point about how his daughter is also a product of "The Public School System," she, yep…unbelievably…also went to private school.

Ferdinand Ferrer pictured here after
yet another meeting with some
Democratic Machine hack at some
smoke filled "social club" on City Island.

In fact, the only time this incredibly stupid man had probably ever been near a public school building were the times when his "bag-men" called in sick and he had to make the weekly pick-ups of overstuffed envelopes of cash from the local Bd of Ed "Union Reps" playing Hold-Um in the cafeteria.




I know what you are thinking,

Oh, what’s the big deal? He just misspoke. Politicians do it all the time. Hell, look at the guys running shit now. Do you think they tell the truth all the time?

No I don’t.

As a matter of fact, I do not think the current crop of jack asses in charge right now tell the truth even 25 percent of the time.

But two things trouble me about this whole ridiculous episode.

First of all, he tried to defend this obvious faux pas by blaming one of "his people." I think his exact quote was,

I send ideas and drafts and then they are edited.

Then why does he keep a web blog at all?

Aren’t Blogs supposed to be the personal thoughts of the person who keep them? I know nobody writes any of the perverse prose on these pages you are reading right now but me.

Like it or not…It is my own.

How can you compare yourself to this superb specimen of machismo? He is a busy politician and you are an overweight drunkard with a never-ending flapping pie hole. How could you possibly think he could have the time to keep up a blog?"

Fair enough.

Then WHY does he pretend to keep one?

Is it to sucker "the rubes" into thinking they’re getting an insider look at the thought processes of a great man as he rids the world off tyranny when, in reality, they are actually reading the musings of a file clerk named Shirley?

Secondly, there is so much shit going on right now, really scary shit that is threatening the very existence of the American republic itself, that there is ABSOLUTELY NO NEED to make anything up. Especially such a trivial thing that...I guess…Ferrer feels will "endear" him to the working class people who actually do the living and the dying in this town.

For example, here is a true story:

Acting on direct orders from the current Mayor, the New York City Police Department arrested my friend, along with thousands of other people, and held him in a makeshift cage on a filth riddled pier off the Hudson River for three days during last year’s disgraceful Republican National Convention.

What was his crime?

He was walking on the sidewalk near Union Square when the Men in Blue conducted a "sweep."

He wasn’t even a protester.

And why such literally Fascist orders were given in the first place?

Mayor Bloomberg seen here in his
private box at Madison Square Garden
during President George Bush's speech
at the Republican National Convention
September, 2004

Because Mayor Bloomberg did not want to "embarrass" the Republican big wigs he was knocking back HighBalls with at The Palm or Sparks Steakhouse on any given night during the convention. Any evidence of the overwhelming distaste New Yorkers have with the inhuman Republican policies had to be squashed.

They are the kind of orders Indonesian dictators give when the Red Cross comes to visit.

Besides, do you think my friend, and the thousands of others caught in the gears of "justice," experiencing such a flagrantly un-Constitutional and anti-American display from an elected leader, care if you went to a private or public school 30 years ago?

WHAT WE NEED IS SOME LEADERSHIP YOU FUCKING PRICK!!!!!

And the bottom line is if Ferrer, after all the crap that has gone on in this country, and this city, for the last five years, feels he has to resort to some kind of petty "image makeover" to get elected instead of actually just standing up and showing some balls, then he is obviously not the guy for us.

Not right now anyway.

Make that never.

As a side note, remember Ferrer is the guy we can blame for getting King "Longshanks" Bloomberg coronated in the first place.

In the 2001 election, even before Saint Rudolph de Bensonhurst blessed the Bostonian Prince Bloomy, Ferrer, in a move that can be characterized as selfish and egomaniacal, split the Democratic Party directly along racial lines by running a disastrous primary run-off against the favorite Mark Green.

He achieved this wonderful feat by siding with every ethnic or racial charlatan whom, in the already jingoistic post-9/11 atmosphere, emphatically and publicly accused the hapless Green of Racism.

What followed was pure ugliness which ended with Bloomberg standing on the pile of ill will grabbing the brass ring.

I want to be perfectly clear, I think Mark green was a spoiled, mealy-mouth, deushbag, whom viewed the Mayorship as his birthright. He probably would have had a terrible, inefficient and ‘you scratch my back I’ll scratch yours" type of administration. But the one thing this Joker wasn’t was a racist.

Christ, Green was one of the only white guys who publicly stuck with Al Sharpton back when he was trying VERY HARD to erase the Track Suit, Gold Medallion, Bad Perm, Fat Guy, discredited Bull Shit artist image back in the bad old days.

And before you say,

Well what could have Ferrer done? Green didn’t get the needed forty- percent of the vote to seal the nomination. There had to be a run-off.

All you have to do is look at this year for your answer. Ferrer himself did not get the needed 40 percent and there should have been a run off but the second place candidate, Anthony Wiener, decided for the good of the party, he would simply drop out.

I don’t know much about THAT guy, but when he was given a choice, he did the right thing. Ironically, and unfortunately for the City, the beneficiary of that decision is Ferrer who, given the same choice, decided to "go for his" and fuck us all.

So, as a registered voter of the City of New York my choice for Mayor this year is between a man whose idea of a good time is to count the outrageous amount of money he has made off the backs of working people and a fool who is so far up the asses of local political bosses that every time one of them farts Ferrer has to wash his face.


In the final analysis,
Shitberg wins...
Fuckrrer wins...
We lose.
Sixth Army