Incomplete Musings of the Cube Buddha

9/27/2005

1)A friend of mine once forwarded an e-mail to me that contained some “Right Leaning” quotations from George Carlin in favor of things like Gun Ownership and Racial Profiling. Judging by the names on the e-mail path this letter took to get to me, it sounded like this material was being circulated in an “AH-HA” and “YOU SEE” type of way, showing me that Liberals just “don’t get it.”

To be honest with you, I forgot what the exact quips were but the content did not really surprise me because I always considered Carlin to be somewhat of a “Truth Teller” and definitely a free thinker.

Well, the other day, Mr. Carlin appeared on the HBO live show “Real Time with Bill Maher.” Here are some of the things he said on that night:

"Elections and politicians are in place in order to give Americans the illusion that they have freedom of choice."

"The real looting in this country takes place in the transfer of the wealth from the poor to the rich. I’m sorry that you don’t like class and the truth, my friend…but you’re stuck with it. Class is class and the poor have been systematically looted in this country. The rich have been made richer under this criminal, fascist president and his government."

"When Fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Germany lost the Second World War but Fascism won it."

"The second function of a liberal democracy is to redress the grievances of the marketplace, the inequities of the marketplace. The chronically-poor in this country are a result of a badly-tilted game."

"25% of the people in this country, by actual polling, believe that the sun revolves around the earth. That's a fact; 25% believe that! Over half of them believe there's a man in the sky who throws fire when he doesn't like you. It's an absurdly ignorant country, and the education system will never save it. It's just selfish. It's a stupidity grown out of selfishness."

I just checked my inbox and, lo’ and behold, I haven’t received any forwarded e-mail with these quotes in it. Oh well…maybe tomorrow.



2) I don’t want to sound paranoid but I have come to the conclusion that all the employees of my local Key Food have my photograph and are under management’s direct order to discontinue stocking any food products I purchase more than once.

3) Now that the Pope’s physical body has proven itself fallible and passed away, I recommend that you put your money on Kurt Vonnegut in your local “dead pool.”

4) I may be crazy but I swear that girl I saw on the Number One train on my way to work this morning was also the “model” I saw on the internet site “Anal Destruction.com” that I accidentally logged on to last night.

5) On innocence in the technological age:

One of the reasons I dislike cell phones is the fact that when you are calling someone and the phone rings multiple times before going to voice mail, there is no doubt that that person is ignoring you.

6) Isn’t it ironic that people who use “shame” as a weapon the most have none of it themselves?

7) There are only two reasons possible how you can incur an “overlimit fee” of $30 (or more) from a credit card company:

A) The ridiculously high finance charges put the overall balance over the credit limit which means the cardholder did not “spend” the amount in question therefore should not be penalized.

B) The credit card company itself “approved” a sale that put the balance over the limit. If the company “penalizes” the customer for charging too much, implying the customer is doing something “wrong,” then why do they approve the charge in the first place?

It sounds like the credit card companies are fucking us again…

Sorry. I was just pointing out the obvious.


8) Being a native New Yorker, I can not, nor will not, forgive Mayor Mike Bloomberg for allowing and embracing the Republican National Convention to take place at Madison Square Garden in 2004 the same way I can never forgive Al Sharpton for taking part in the whole Tawana Brawley hoax in the late 80s.

I don’t give a shit how much they try to distance themselves from their respective debacles, I will never forget that these two guys think that it is cute to polarize a population for their own cynical and petty gain.

9) Doesn’t it bother anybody that the totally worthless pieces of shit, “Oh Heavenly Dog “(starring Chevy Chase as a talking a dog.), “Hero at Large” (starring John Ritter as a superhero want to be.) and “A Night in Heaven” (starring Christopher Atkins as a High School student who moonlights as a male-stripper.) were recently released on DVD while the very real historical cultural document “Let It Be” (Academy Award winning documentary filmed in 1969 of The Beatles rehearsing and recording the album of the same name.) sits in some vault somewhere gathering dust because the jackals can’t decide how to split up the shekels?

I am all for intellectual property rights but this is a crime.

10) Now that Benjamin Bratt, David Caruso and Chris Noth, after failing to generate any kind of a “film career” are all back on TV Cop Shows again, can Edward James Olmos be far behind?

11) And speaking of Olmos…Did you know that in 1983, NBC wanted to do an “update” of the 1970s crime drama “MacMillan and Wife” called “Macmillan and Long Time Companion” starring Rock Hudson and Robert Reed. When both of the actors turned NBC down, they offered the parts to Raymond Burr and Chuck Connors who both accepted the roles but could not perform due to health reasons.

And of course, as everyone knows, the production was then shut down, retooled, recast and renamed “Miami Vice.”

12) I just sat down and actually listened to the Loverboy song “Turn Me Loose.”

Holy shit does it suck.

13) I tried watching poker on TV the other day. I flipped to ESPN and some tournament was on. When the commentator, with a straight face, said:

Jesus has pocket fours.

I laughed so hard I almost fell out of my chair.

14) In his 17 years in the business, Pauly Shore has not produced one piece of quality entertainment close to watchable and yet he was still signed to star in his own reality series this year on TNT.

Whose cock is this guy sucking on any way?

Answer that question correctly, young Grasshopper, and you may proceed to the next level of enlightenment.

Sixth Army