My Cats Knows Something I Don’t
You can tell a lot about a person’s personality by what kind of pet they have. For example if one’s personality needs to be "validated," loved or craves attention they will most likely have a dog. A dog waits for you to get home. A dog follows you around wanting you to play and interact with them. A dog is loyal. A dog responds to the owner calling his name at the drop of a hat no questions asked. In a nut shell, no matter how rotten you are, your dog unconditionally loves you. As Scott Larsen, creator of The Far Side cartoon puts it, "Even Hitler had a dog."
On the other hand, if you are someone who doesn’t particularly want to be alone yet has little patience for the hard work, effort and compromise that goes into any kind of real relationship, you most likely are going to have a cat(s). Cats need little attention. Their facial expressions rarely reveal any emotions. They do not need to be walked. They do not need to be bathed. In a nut shell, they take care of themselves. Because of this self sufficient behavior many people broadly categorize the cat as "smart" and the dog as "dumb." I disagree. I just think on the one hand you have independence, both emotional and physical (Cats) and, on the other, you have the exact opposite (Dogs) which does not necessarily reflect intelligence.
That third pet owner category (Fish and Birds) I do not want to comment on because I do not want to offend any readers. I would only point out that a bird can fly so the whole sky is his natural habitat. A fish can breathe under water so, being that the Earth’s surface is _ covered by water, you can safely say his natural space is usually a lot larger than a 4x2 rectangular box which is decorated with colored pebbles and a Spongebob in Scuba Gear figurine that spews forth oxygen. A box that sits in a wall unit, next to the TV, in a living room of a three room walk-up, being looked at only when the fish food needs to be sprinkled in so that the wretched existence of those poor beings could be sustained. What does it say of a person who takes animals that can perform tasks that human beings could only dream of doing and put them in a cage?
So:
Of course these are all general statements that are just my personal opinions. Like every other axiom in the world there are exceptions and this guide is not 100% accurate. It is just a good template that, more often than not, turns out to be true. I, of course, have two cats who I refer to as my tenants. Their names, not that they know or care, are Meng and Manny, in honor of one of my favorite movies the 1983 classic Scarface.
The grizzled old veteran of my household is Meng, an all white male I had since he was a baby kitten. When he first came to me he was very curious and active but now he’s an old man of roughly ten years. His idea of a wild time is laying down on top of a cardboard box, slowly closing his eyes and sleeping for hours. To describe his personality as mellow would be an understatement. He gets along with humans and animals alike, accepting whatever fate has in store for him with a stoic nod followed by a long nap. Every so often he wants to be patted, giving a half hearted meow, just to keep me honest, but overall he just hangs out not bothering anybody. He doesn’t complain about the cuisine he is served, which consists of whatever dry food is on sale that week coupled with a can of sliced or shredded 9 Lives. My kind of cat!!
My second cat, the rambunctious Manny, is relatively new to my apartment and the world for that matter. He is about 6 months old and it shows. If he is not jumping and lunging at imaginary prey on the walls or the windows he is knocking over anything that is not nailed down. When he is tired of inanimate objects, he playfully attacks Meng who, as I just described, really does not want any part of the action. To put it in human terms, Meng is the grandfather, sitting on the sofa, only wanting to watch the ball game while Meng, the rug rat, plays at his feet, toys spread out all over the floor, demanding that Grandpa play Army with him.
In this family dynamic I noticed something very interesting the other day. The two of them were sitting in front of the TV in "static mode." Nothing from that infernal tube seemed to interest them. Not Ray Romano or Jerry Seinfeld. Not the contestants eating live Earth worms on Fear Factor or has-been celebrities making complete jack asses of themselves on the Surreal World. Not even some of the cat food commercials that feature felines meowing for their supposed favorite meals. Nope nothing seem to faze these two who, to my great delight, seemed to have settled in for a long summer/fall’s nap. Being a "channel surfer" I was hitting all the bases; Reality Shows, Sit Coms, PBS informational shows and even some sports.
When I got to an all news network they were featuring a clip from that day’s political ranting. President Bush was making a stump speech about this or that, I wasn’t really paying attention, when all of a sudden Meng, the quiet one, jerks his head up with a look of seriousness that he RARELY has. Following in suit was the little guy Manny, a facial of ferocious intensity staring at the screen. Then the both of them, in unison, scrunch up in a crouch position, making baritone growling noises. Their eyes never stopped focusing on the President, as if he were a pigeon who happened to land on the window sill. To be honest I started to get a little nervous about the absolute intensity these two cats were exhibiting but not knowing why they were acting in such a way. I changed the channel and they seemed to stop the noise and almost immediately went back to a half slumber position. I guess Peter Falk did not have the same effect on them.
They know....
Well, TV being what it is, I eventually ended up on Bush again and, the minute he appeared on the screen, heads get cocked, growling starts and an uncomfortable single-mindedness permeates the room. But now I am curious. I keep the President’s speech on but I continue to watch the two cats. Again they seem to be completely agitated as if they were hunting a small animal, sensing weakness and just waiting for their moment to leap out and trap their quarry. I could not believe it so, to just make sure that the source of this behavior was what I thought it was, I quickly flipped the station. Both of the cats calmed down almost immediately when the soothing image of Donald Trump sternly saying "You’re Fired" appeared on the screen. Both their heads go down and their eyes started to slowly shut when I decided to tempt fate and confirm my suspicions. I hit the "last channel" button and to my astonishment the events DID repeat themselves: The Fox News Channel comes on, Bush is making a speech, he calls Kerry a flip flopper, Meng and Manny’s head rip around and their body contort into full stalk mode as if they are out on the Veldt and their very survival depends on catching an extremely fast jack rabbit. After three minutes of watching their display, I turned off the set and the two of them went back to sleep, possibly dreaming of that piece of string that got away.
I am not a very political guy and, quite frankly, I was squarely on the fence in the upcoming presidential election. Both candidates made some good points about the future direction this country should take and everyone I talk to is either on one side or the other. But watching my two cats, beasts that I will not vouch for their brains but completely trust their instincts, I think I’ve made up my mind. It is said that animals can see things that we can’t, think of how many times a dog barks when someone is approaching your house even though you can’t hear them or when a cat jerks his head up several seconds before someone rings your doorbell, so I think I’ll trust them on this one.
The old saying is:
Sixth Army
On the other hand, if you are someone who doesn’t particularly want to be alone yet has little patience for the hard work, effort and compromise that goes into any kind of real relationship, you most likely are going to have a cat(s). Cats need little attention. Their facial expressions rarely reveal any emotions. They do not need to be walked. They do not need to be bathed. In a nut shell, they take care of themselves. Because of this self sufficient behavior many people broadly categorize the cat as "smart" and the dog as "dumb." I disagree. I just think on the one hand you have independence, both emotional and physical (Cats) and, on the other, you have the exact opposite (Dogs) which does not necessarily reflect intelligence.
That third pet owner category (Fish and Birds) I do not want to comment on because I do not want to offend any readers. I would only point out that a bird can fly so the whole sky is his natural habitat. A fish can breathe under water so, being that the Earth’s surface is _ covered by water, you can safely say his natural space is usually a lot larger than a 4x2 rectangular box which is decorated with colored pebbles and a Spongebob in Scuba Gear figurine that spews forth oxygen. A box that sits in a wall unit, next to the TV, in a living room of a three room walk-up, being looked at only when the fish food needs to be sprinkled in so that the wretched existence of those poor beings could be sustained. What does it say of a person who takes animals that can perform tasks that human beings could only dream of doing and put them in a cage?
So:
1) Dog owners: Need to feel wanted and needed, crave attention, require validation, welcome interaction, want instant gratification and are possibly insecure.
2) Cat owners: Covet solitude but not complete loneliness, respect self sufficiency, do not need reassurance of their own worth, understand when a tree falls in the forest it does make a sound even though they are personally not there to hear it, possibly lazy.
3) Fish and Bird owners: No comment!
Of course these are all general statements that are just my personal opinions. Like every other axiom in the world there are exceptions and this guide is not 100% accurate. It is just a good template that, more often than not, turns out to be true. I, of course, have two cats who I refer to as my tenants. Their names, not that they know or care, are Meng and Manny, in honor of one of my favorite movies the 1983 classic Scarface.
The grizzled old veteran of my household is Meng, an all white male I had since he was a baby kitten. When he first came to me he was very curious and active but now he’s an old man of roughly ten years. His idea of a wild time is laying down on top of a cardboard box, slowly closing his eyes and sleeping for hours. To describe his personality as mellow would be an understatement. He gets along with humans and animals alike, accepting whatever fate has in store for him with a stoic nod followed by a long nap. Every so often he wants to be patted, giving a half hearted meow, just to keep me honest, but overall he just hangs out not bothering anybody. He doesn’t complain about the cuisine he is served, which consists of whatever dry food is on sale that week coupled with a can of sliced or shredded 9 Lives. My kind of cat!!
My second cat, the rambunctious Manny, is relatively new to my apartment and the world for that matter. He is about 6 months old and it shows. If he is not jumping and lunging at imaginary prey on the walls or the windows he is knocking over anything that is not nailed down. When he is tired of inanimate objects, he playfully attacks Meng who, as I just described, really does not want any part of the action. To put it in human terms, Meng is the grandfather, sitting on the sofa, only wanting to watch the ball game while Meng, the rug rat, plays at his feet, toys spread out all over the floor, demanding that Grandpa play Army with him.
In this family dynamic I noticed something very interesting the other day. The two of them were sitting in front of the TV in "static mode." Nothing from that infernal tube seemed to interest them. Not Ray Romano or Jerry Seinfeld. Not the contestants eating live Earth worms on Fear Factor or has-been celebrities making complete jack asses of themselves on the Surreal World. Not even some of the cat food commercials that feature felines meowing for their supposed favorite meals. Nope nothing seem to faze these two who, to my great delight, seemed to have settled in for a long summer/fall’s nap. Being a "channel surfer" I was hitting all the bases; Reality Shows, Sit Coms, PBS informational shows and even some sports.
When I got to an all news network they were featuring a clip from that day’s political ranting. President Bush was making a stump speech about this or that, I wasn’t really paying attention, when all of a sudden Meng, the quiet one, jerks his head up with a look of seriousness that he RARELY has. Following in suit was the little guy Manny, a facial of ferocious intensity staring at the screen. Then the both of them, in unison, scrunch up in a crouch position, making baritone growling noises. Their eyes never stopped focusing on the President, as if he were a pigeon who happened to land on the window sill. To be honest I started to get a little nervous about the absolute intensity these two cats were exhibiting but not knowing why they were acting in such a way. I changed the channel and they seemed to stop the noise and almost immediately went back to a half slumber position. I guess Peter Falk did not have the same effect on them.
They know....
Well, TV being what it is, I eventually ended up on Bush again and, the minute he appeared on the screen, heads get cocked, growling starts and an uncomfortable single-mindedness permeates the room. But now I am curious. I keep the President’s speech on but I continue to watch the two cats. Again they seem to be completely agitated as if they were hunting a small animal, sensing weakness and just waiting for their moment to leap out and trap their quarry. I could not believe it so, to just make sure that the source of this behavior was what I thought it was, I quickly flipped the station. Both of the cats calmed down almost immediately when the soothing image of Donald Trump sternly saying "You’re Fired" appeared on the screen. Both their heads go down and their eyes started to slowly shut when I decided to tempt fate and confirm my suspicions. I hit the "last channel" button and to my astonishment the events DID repeat themselves: The Fox News Channel comes on, Bush is making a speech, he calls Kerry a flip flopper, Meng and Manny’s head rip around and their body contort into full stalk mode as if they are out on the Veldt and their very survival depends on catching an extremely fast jack rabbit. After three minutes of watching their display, I turned off the set and the two of them went back to sleep, possibly dreaming of that piece of string that got away.
I am not a very political guy and, quite frankly, I was squarely on the fence in the upcoming presidential election. Both candidates made some good points about the future direction this country should take and everyone I talk to is either on one side or the other. But watching my two cats, beasts that I will not vouch for their brains but completely trust their instincts, I think I’ve made up my mind. It is said that animals can see things that we can’t, think of how many times a dog barks when someone is approaching your house even though you can’t hear them or when a cat jerks his head up several seconds before someone rings your doorbell, so I think I’ll trust them on this one.
The old saying is:
True but, in my house, I have an addendum:Music soothes the savage beast
Spoiled, lying, self serving politicians rile them up.
Sixth Army
posted by Larry B | 12:49 AM
2 Comments:
I liked your characterization of dog-owners vs. cat-owners. I have had both, and I think I agree with your assessments, for the most part. However, I do believe my cat is far more intelligent than my dog ever was because the cat does plot and execute revenge when I anger him. Far more entertaining, however, was your experiment with the cats and our fearless leader, Dubya. Bravo! Although I think your posting should be retitled, because from the last line, I believe your cats only validated something you already seem to know! I enjoyed reading it. Thanks!
You're on to me!! On wasn't really "on the fence."
But as far as cat smarts go, maybe you are right. If you "lock" him in the bathroom my friend's cat actually learned how to open the door by turning the doorknob. It is quite a site, this fat cat hanoing on the knob rubbing his paws together but most impressive never the less.
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