What if?

When I was a kid I use to read a book called Know Your Presidents and their Wives. It was a children's history book that is exactly as the title describes it. On the left hand page would be the President's picture or photograph, his vital statistics (such as birth and death dates, inauguration date, party, religion, profession, etc.) and a short two column basic history of their Presidency. On the right hand page would be the same for the First Lady. The last President they had listed was (The still in office) Richard Nixon.

I LOVED this book. I would read it constantly. But it wasn't mine. It belonged to the Brooklyn Public Library on Rockaway Parkway in Brooklyn. My mom would take it out for me every two weeks - or whatever the maximum amount of time was back then. I so thoroughly absorbed the information contained in that book that I can STILL recite the names of all the Presidents of the United States in order. I could probably tell you where they were born too.

I do not really know how many times my mom ACTUALLY borrowed it from the library because as you get older, memory - especially chronology - becomes harder to get right. As they get further away, dates and years blur together and are considered less important. I personally tend to think now more in larger "periods" in my life where time is couched around benchmark events that are either personal or national. For example, when attempting to remember a certain event in my life I could start my investigation by saying something like this to myself:

"Around the time when I was out of college and out of work - the late Bush Sr. years probably '91 or '92."

Believe me, as you age, time/event association becomes your best friend.

I always had the notion that this book borrowing cycle was a whole year but, in reality, I don't think she took it out as many times as I think. The reasons for this revisionist history are:

A) To a child time is endless. So an event that was actually a 2 day span (like a road trip or a hotel stay) 20 or 30 years ago is seen in your current remembrance as much longer - and you sincerely remember it that way. This is because AT THE TIME you were participating in that event, you felt like it was a lot longer. THAT feeling is what you are actually remembering - and is probably causing you to be remember it in the first place.

B) My mother was scrupulously honest. There is no way she would have kept a book for that long. Even if she was doing everything "legal" by renewing it…and she was…she still would of thought of it as stealing.

All I can say for sure is that it was multiple times and I probably read it and reread it every other day.

So on Christmas day, 1973, this six-year-old boy was given an innocuous looking gift. It wasn't the most valuable in dollars and cents I have ever received although I would consider it priceless. It wasn't the most useful either, if you use the way things are considered "useful" in this day and age as your guide but it did serve my imagination throughout my childhood. It wasn't even the most exciting nestled between the Rock'em Sock'em Robots and the slot-car race track.

But it is the most cherished.

As you guessed, it was my favorite book, purchased for me because my mom was probably so guilt-ridden for having had held the public copy for so long. On the inside cover she inscribed:

For our dear Lawrence
Merry Christmas
With love from Mommy & Daddy
December 25, 1973

And, today, after all those expensive electronic devices, utilitarian wonder gadgets and exciting pieces of plastic have long been broken down, lost and forgotten, that book still sits on my bookshelf. The spine is worn and cracked and the pages are yellowed - but it's there: An object of material substance with weight and mass that most definitely carries a living memory. It has stayed with me through five moves and if I have to again, it will be on the truck packed in a cardboard box marked "heirlooms."

But that story was really one long sentimental digression to my main point. Over the years, starting with that book, I had a true love of history. I would read many more books, watch many films and shows and visit many sites that pertained to my beloved subject. Needless to say, in college I took many courses ranging from Medieval Europe to Modern America. I couldn't get enough of the stuff.

One class in particular was extremely interesting. Titled "The Turbulent 60s" it focused on…well the 1960s of course. It was taught by a very charismatic professor who truly looked inspired when lecturing. He would tell us stories of his own involvement as a mediator in the negotiations with radical students when they took over the campus. He would come alive when discussing the impact of the Vietnam War, Civil Rights Demonstrations and the rise of counter-culturalism. It was just a cool class and he was just a cool teacher. I think his name was Dr. MacDonald.

One day, he proposed a provocative exercise. He wanted us to consider an alternative timeline based on one question:

What if Bobby Kennedy wasn't killed?"

Immediately I began to think of all the turmoil of 1969 and the 1970s. The scandals, the unraveling of the social fabric, the despair, the recession…the failures. I asked myself, could all of those terrible things of that decade be main-lined straight back to that assassination and the election of the politically and socially divisive Richard Nixon? In 1968, what if the inclusive nature, the progressive ideas and the problem solving intellect of Bobby Kennedy was put into the White House? I imagined that our history would have been very different if he wasn't murdered. After imagining and pondering for awhile, sitting in that lecture hall, I came to the conclusion that this country would have by no means been a paradise but much of the turmoil, the upheaval…the despair…that was to come could and would have been prevented or dealt with in a much more satisfactory way.

I don't have to imagine it anymore.

Larry B