What Is Cool?

3/24/2005

Backstage, after the gig
Carnegie Hall, New York - 1961

In 1961, young adults thought that these guys were the "cat's meow":
















By 1969, if you were "groovy" you looked like these guys:

Photo session for the album "Abbey Road"
Somewhere in England - 1969

In less than eight years we went from tuxes, pinky rings, High Balls, filterless cigarettes and mischievous grins to beards, denim, sandals, pot and detached bemusement.

I make no judgment. I kind of like them both. But I was wondering,

Do you still have your Mighty Mighty Bosstones Sugar Ray and Chumbawamba CD's?

Just something to think about the next time you decide that you got a handle on what's hip.

Sixth Army

More Bullshit....Cube Style

3/18/2005


Some thoughts on the passing scene:



1) I think the rebirth of the strangulated oppression we got going on today comes partly from the hollowness of the 70s and the failure of hedonism to satisfy the human quest for spirit and soul. I see the 1970s as “too much of good thing” meaning our decade long urination on a few hundred years of our cultural history is going to create a backlash (Reagan). As usual, we go from one extreme to another. After years of sexual repression and intellectual lock down we decide the answer is a 24 hr a day drug fueled orgy which, of course, leads back to repression and a yearning for the non existent “good old days.” Let’s stop thinking in black and white and embrace the beauty of gray.


2) A recent quote from George W about Syria:

I don’t see how you can have a fair election in Lebanon with Syrian troops and Syria’s secret service embedded in the society.

If you replace the words “Lebanon” with “Iraq,” “Syrian” with “American,” “troops” with “liberators” and “secret service” with “contractors,” evidently it is very possible to have a free election, one which is an example for the whole world to see and follow spreading democracy and freedom across the Middle East.

3) Did you see that we caught or killed the 6 of Diamonds the other day? He was like an in-law or stepson or something to Hussein. When the story was reported the “news” guy threw in that “probably he was funding a lot of the insurgents over the last year.” The implication is clear; the Iraqis are fighting our occupation because this guy was giving them money and NOT because they pretty much hate our guts.

4) Ann Coulter represents all of the basest emotions mankind has: jealousy, hate, greed, sloth etc. With that being said the bio that was included on the inner flap of her latest book could have been easily edited down to, “Ann Coulter is a person who is standing in the way of a better world.”

5) John Lennon was shot and killed at the age of 40. Ann Coulter will probably be in her early 90s still spreading her poisonous shit. This is not a fair world but it is the only one we got. Why do we continue to make it uglier than it has to be?

6) Imagine if the “good” people in the world were allowed to focus their energies on making the world a better place instead of being checked and countered by dogs like that bee-atch Ann Coulter, Dollar Dog Rush Limbaugh or Shallow Sean Hannity, etc.? It might not work out but we’ve seen the results of this bunch’s wisdom so how could it be worse? But again I turn to John Lennon for Solstice…

Instant karma’s gonna get you
Gonna knock you right on the head
You better get yourself together darling
Pretty soon you’re gonna be dead

7) Can you imagine ANY WORKING person thinking these things:

Universal Health Care is a bad thing.
Why should I want to see a free doctor?
Social Security is a bad thing.
People don’t deserve a safety net.
We should rely on the alms of the Bushes.
Trial Lawyers are a bunch of scum although they are the ONLY line of defense against corporate greed run amok.

8) Dick Cheney goes on and on about how bad trial lawyers are and yet never once mentions the batteries of corporate lawyers working 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week, trying as hard as humanly possible, to find some loophole to screw working people out of their money. How come those attorneys get a pass in the vilification game?

9) If there really is a liberal bias in the media, wouldn’t scenes and point of views depicted in Warren Beatty’s Bulworth (1998) be a pretty much regular occurrence on the nightly news or in local newspapers?

10) Woody Allen’s earlier career can be summed up with three milestones. The first being Take the Money and Run(1969) which I believe can be credited as the first “mocumentary.” The second being the Napoleonic Era comedy, Love and Death(1975) which I happened to see again over the weekend which had many moments that were laugh out loud funny. Finally his masterpiece the Best Movie Oscar winning Annie Hall(1977) which was a timeless piece of mature observation about relationships. There is an evolution in his work, like a child who does anything for a laugh then becomes a teenager/young adult that knows everything and thinks of himself as so clever and lastly as an adult who realizes that the answers are not so cut and dry.

If his career ended there his name would probably be on a very short list of great directors But his career did not end there and although there have been some very good movies over the last 26 years (“Manhattan” (1979) “Hannah and her Sisters” (1986) and “Husbands and Wives” (1992) come to my mind) Woody’s work HAS decreased in quality and this fact is not because of the audience’s expectations.

I am not going to tell a true intellectual like Woody Allen to retire, but if his next movie came out 10 years from now and was on par with his earlier work he would have a chance to be remembered more prestigiously then the way he currently is. But probably Woody doesn’t care about any of that.

As the man himself put it:

I do not want to live forever through my films.
I want to live forever in my apartment.

11) I think Achtung Baby (1991) is Hall of Fame inductee U2’s last real quality work. I am sure they have a song or two that is OK since but they have become what can be described a group who has outlived their shelf life. The sad part is that branch of music (Rock and Roll) has no one to pick up the mantle because the last 5 (maybe more) years has no record company developing anybody. I am sure there are good musicians/artists out there to be discovered but I don’t have the time or inclination to search the web for them.

So I guess I represent the worst of both worlds: A Snobbish Sheep.

12) From the movie “Love and Death,” rated PG in 1975:

I was walking through the woods, thinking about Christ. If he was a carpenter, I wondered what he charged for bookshelves

13) Can you imagine the soulless creep who listened to John Lennon’s “Across the Universe” and said this would be a great song to hawk Hewlett Packard Printing products?

Sixth Army

Quick Hits From My Cube

3/18/2005

1) This is a verbatim quote from my most recent Cable Vision bill:

Great news – we’ve simplified your bill! Our customers requested a bill that is easy to read and we heard you loud and clear.

How come they don’t hear “our requests loud and clear” for higher quality service and lower prices?

2) Do you think, during the filming of Mandingo (1975), James Mason turned to Ken Norton on the set and said, “You know, I’ve worked with Hitchcock?”

3)For that matter, did Ralph Bellamy mention that he worked with Cary Grant to his co-stars the 1980’s Brooklyn rap trio “The Fat Boys” on the set of Disorderlies (1987)?

4) From Mad Magazine:

In the 2004 election 79% of the voters who voted for George W voted for him because they “admired the way he kicked his alcohol and drug problem.”

That same 79% also said they voted for W because “He is the one I would rather have a beer with.”

5) A feedback I received on E-Bay read, and I quote,"It was a fantastic experience!” This guy thought our transaction was a “Fantastic experience?” What does he normally do for fun? Sit glassy eyed in a messy 10 x 10 room, slow turning fan on high, bead of sweat forming on his brow, staring at a 19” JVC color TV, looking forward to the Cannon/Mannix all day marathon on Nick at Night?

6) “Creationism” vs. “Evolution”:

One is derived from thought experiments, mathematical research, chemical experiments, intense physical and behavioral observation which leads to continuous alteration and revision as various “facts” and “theories” become revealed, learned and hypothesized.

The other is because “It is written….”

7) I am not sure who asked the following:

If God (Intelligent Designer) knows everything and all, how can Man (Designee) possess free will?

Whoever did was definitely on to something.

8) This was today’s WCBS (101.1 FM - a New York oldies station) mid day contest: What do these three songs have in common?

“I Am A Rock” – by Simon and Garfunkel
“Rock the Boat” – by The Hughes Corporation
“Rock You Baby” – by George McCray

9)

I know millions of people are wrestling fans but who would
read this cartoon and actually exclaim "Right on brother!"

10) Don’t you find it ridiculous that New York City and New York State, two of the last bastions of light and hope in the western hemisphere has a Republican Governor and Mayor? I know Bloomberg is really a “conservative democrat” and Pataki is just a political hatchet man who would “sell his back teeth if there was a profit in it,” but still they call themselves Republicans. Didn’t we, the people who are still holding on to a shred of hope and faith in the human spirit, have to suffer through the Nuremberg Rally last year? A grand celebration of ignorance and jingoism so repulsive that even Chris Mathews had to look away. A slight of hand magic show where tired old men told the American people that hate is a good thing and don’t pay any attention to the spiraling economy, the wholesale death and destruction of war and the overall erosion of our soul?
How was such a spectacle tolerated?

11) On judging art by the artist…

I’m a juvenile product of the working class
Whose best friend floats at the bottom of a glass

Written in 1973 and backed with a jamming hard guitar riff, this really strikes a solid statement of disaffected “realness,” which predates the angst of Johnny Rotton’s “Anarchy in the UK” (1976). The fact that a serious glam queen Elton John wrote it makes me ponder the ability of chameleons.

12) There seems to be a theme through many blog entries I have read. There is usually some arrogance aimed at some local group of people the blogger is feuding with. The writings are sometimes brutally sophomoric with no attempt at universality which only leads me to believe that their goals are purely petty and selfish with the base alloy of jealousy, fear and envy always lurking in the shadows. The irony is as our world grows larger our aspirations and thoughts seem to get smaller.

13) Whenever the subject of President John Kennedy comes up, I refer to my father’s recollection of the man. He was not a HUGE Kennedy fan (although he was a lifelong Democrat) but he said when Kennedy made that famous television speech (“Any missile launched from Cuba against ANY nation in the western hemisphere will be considered an attack by the Soviet Union on the United States.”) it was the greatest show of strength by a US president he ever witnessed. He did not back down and avoided the very REAL possibility of a nuclear holocaust. Our position in the world was reinforced with no bloodshed at all. Isn’t that the definition of great leadership?

Compare that to the “show of strength” this other pampered member of the aristocracy is pulling in 2005.


Sixth Army


<

The Passion of the Patriot

Mel Gibson - Pictured here at home playing with his kids.

3/16/2005

Mel Gibson has become an easy target as of late. Everyone from Comedy Central's "South Park" to Danny Glover's massage therapist has taken a shot at him. His critics say that the guy has got some issues with Jews, pointing to the fact that he is a pre-Vatican 2 Catholic and his father is a well known "Holocaust denier" who moved his family from upstate NY to Australia because, "...there is no way I am going to get drafted and fight to protect no Jew money."

What brought on this avalanche of criticism was last year's The Passion of the Christ (2004) which he directed. The film, which graphically depicts the last days of Jesus Christ (Portrayed by Jim Caviezel), has been considered by many to be an "anti-Semitic blood soaked snuff-porn film" while many others have considered viewing the film as the most "satisfying spiritual experience they ever had." The scary part is that some of the people who responded that way have actually been to Jerusalem.

I never saw the movie myself so I will not comment on its quality or its alleged transgressions. But, I have read many descriptions of the film’s scenes and actions and, I could honestly say, I have seen movies similar to it. These movies were mostly one-reeler’s produced in Asia and unspooled on the internet. Most of them featured actors I never heard of before.

I also remember one time in 1995, seeing a film on a television monitor at a club in the meat packing district named “The Vault.” The movie had a remarkably similar plot. In fact, if I remember correctly, it also had a “Biblical times” motif. It starred a guy in a Roman Centurion costume and a midget. I don’t remember their names or the tittle of the picture.

But, for all I know, The Passion of the Christ (2004) is the best directed movie ever produced, even better than Cotton Goes to Harlem (1970). And, for all I know, Jim Caviezel's performance as The Lord is the greatest piece of acting committed to celluloid since Leon Isaac Kennedy played "Too Sweet" in Pennitentary II (1982). To be completely honest, I really do not know.

But, I do know, it made a whole lot of money last year and will probably make a whole lot more this year because Gibson has very cleverly fostered the idea that it is one's Christian duty to see it every Easter. For this year, he is releasing it "re-cut" which I think means Mel has re-inserted some "deleted scenes." These include:

1) A "Giulliani Time" anal rape scene that takes place in Pontious Pilate’s bathroom.

2) A ten minute sequence in which Jesus escapes from the Roman guards by doing a quick Three Stooges imitation. He then scales the prison wall with a rope and a grappling hook. When he reaches the top he lights a huge pot of boiling oil which creates a fireball that propels him through the sky "towards My Father." Afterwards, he awakens to find that it was "all a dream" and he is still in the middle of being scourged.

3) An alternate ending that takes place after Jesus is dead and buried. The sky turns from dark clouds to magnificent sunshine with a bright yellow beam focusing on the burial cave. God, in a voice over (Mel Gibson), shouts out, “GIVE ME BACK MY SON!” and Jesus ascends to the Heavens with a spectacular Grucci Brothers fire works show as a backdrop. The last shot is in a Roman palace where Pilate and his servant witness The Resurrection off in the distance and nod knowingly at each other.

I say "he" is making money because Mel is the one who is raking in a lot of the profits from all this marketing himself. I believe he put up the initial money because no studio believed in the project. I say good for him!!

He had a vision and followed through with it. You know there must have been a lot of Doubting Thomas' trying to talk him out of a Biblical production that is spoken all in Aramaic and Latin with English subtitles. Like the subject of his film, Mel must have taken many slings and arrows from a crowd of non-believers who ridiculed and condemned him but after the shekel count came in from the three day weekend it initially opened on, must have fell to their knees in front of him, begging for forgiveness and redemption, wanting to know what they could do to spread "the word."

Mel Gibson on the set

No wonder why Gibson himself supplied his own hands when they filmed the close-up shots of the crucifixion. He must have related. Come to think of it, that seems to be a running thread through many of Mel’s movies.

Remember the scene in Lethal Weapon (1987) where a recently rehabbed, wild eyed, Gary Busey, has Gibson strung up by his wrists, half naked, on a meat hook directly under running water. Busey than has a wild-eyed Asian guy torture him with, what seems to be a heart defiblirater. This scene goes on for awhile. I am starting to suspect that it was not in the script at all and Mel decided to improvise yelling “MORE! MORE!” after each shock with Busey nodding maniacally in the background, just happy for the work and the Asian guy wondering what the hell is wrong with these people.

There are also the physical abuses and torments his character takes in The Mad Max movies with the Gary Busey part played by everyone from a no-name Australian “leather bar boy” to Tina Turner. Particularly interesting in that series (I believe there were three of them) is the larger Gibson’s star and celebrity grew the more torture and degradation his character was put through. Normally, it is the other way around.

And then, of course, there is his directorial debut Braveheart (1995), whose final scene is a graphic 15 minute draw and quartering of the hero which is somewhat uncomfortable to watch. Based on a true story, the 13th century Scotch revolutionary William Wallace (Mel Gibson) gets strung up, de-bowled and beheaded all to the cheers of a blood thirsty English mob. It is most unpleasant. In fact, the only thing that makes the gruesomeness of this sequence tolerable is the strong sense that Mel is actually having fun.

Since I am not qualified to comment on his directorial job in "Christ," and I try not to get too involved in cheap shots anyway, let me mention a few things about Braveheart (1995).

I thought, overall, it was pretty good or at least entertaining and, in any event, kept my interest. It had a lot of elements I found interesting. First of all, it is about a time and chapter of history (The British conquest and subsequent rebellion of Scotland in the 1200s) that gets very little air time in the U.S. and, being a history buff, I immediately found that attractive. The costumes seemed authentic and well researched. The scenery was beautiful with wide sweeping pan shots of the Scottish countryside. The cast was filled with solid British character actors who all played their parts quite well. And how can you not love the idea of Patrick McGoohan (The Prisoner, 1963) as the scheming creepy English monarch Long Shanks? Hell, it won Best Picture for Caviezel’s sake!

I know I can be a real asshole sometimes when it comes to inaccuracies in historical dramas and, although I seem to be much more sensitive to mistakes than others, I try my hardest to “suspend belief” for the little anachronisms that pop up all the time in these kind of movies. I feel that looking for those kinds of foibles takes away from the overall meaning or point of the picture in question and is a counterproductive use of your time. You know what I am talking about. Things as varied as:

-Hey they didn’t have apples in that part of the world at that time; or

-That kind of rifle wasn’t invented yet; or

-That song wasn’t out at that time; or

-The F Train doesn’t stop at Union Street; etc.

You get the point. It is the equivalent of one of these “Family Values” movie reviewers whose idea of quality criticism is counting how many times a character says the word “fuck.”

With that being said, there is one HUGE thing Braveheart is completely wrong about. I found this on a legitimate Scottish history site:

The Actual Stirling Bridge

"On Sept. 11, 1297, the English army under John de Warenne, Earl of Surrey, confronted Wallace near Stirling. Wallace's forces were greatly outnumbered, but Surrey had to cross a narrow bridge over the River Forth before he could reach the Scottish positions. Wallace's men lured the English into making an impulsive advance, and slaughtered them as they crossed the river. English fatalities are reported to have approached 5,000, gaining Wallace an overwhelming victory. He had shown not only that he was a charismatic leader and warrior, but also that his tactical military ability was strong. Never before had a Scottish army so triumphed over an English aggressor. Wallace captured Stirling Castle and for the moment Scotland was almost free of occupying forces."

Do you remember this scene from the movie? Was it shot, or sound, anything remotely like this accurate, and may I add, much more plausible version of events?

This is most distressing because I remember, when I first saw the movie years ago, beyond all the “Harlequin Romance” scenarios and dialogue that probably never happened (Who the heck knows what really happened, we’re talking 800 years ago!) I thought that the film’s strong suit, and what I most enjoyed about it, was the realistic depiction of a medieval battle. It seemed very well researched, shot on location and was unflinchingly violent enough for me to think I was getting some incite into long ago war tactics. I found it fascinating the way Gibson illustrated the distinct roles of the medieval archer, horse and pikemen. I trusted this scene was accurate.

Well, it wasn’t even close.

At the beginning of the movie, the narrator implies that all that you know is not necessarily true because, “History is written by the hang man.” An interesting observation to ponder, especially when you consider our own views on any number of historical figures. Who was a hero and who was a villain? What is progress and what is exploitation? Who was a terrorist and who was a freedom fighter?

But this axiom does not give Gibson carte blanche to completely rewrite history. In this particular case, the victor and the vanquished both agree on the location, tactics and result of this battle, a documented event that obviously was very important in Scottish/English history. In my opinion, artists should have a lot of wiggle room when it comes to historical point of view and sympathy but, when it comes to basic key facts, they should really stick to the script.

Sticks...check.
Kilts...check.
Celtic war paint...check.
Overwrought facials...check.
Wait a God Damn minute!

Where the fuck is the bridge?

Why was Mel Gibson exact and extremely meticulous when he researched, verified and filmed the methods employed during Wallace’s torture and execution but yet totally off the mark when presenting the defining moment in that man’s life?

If you can answer that question, you are well on your way to unraveling the “Riddle of the Briggs” as well as securing your own mental health and clarity.

Do Not Worship False Gods
Sixth Army