Philip of Macedon

I found this clip on YouTube. It was called "Dr. Phil Kicks Guest Off Show."

12/19/06


For those of you who can not watch this ridiculous clip, (And the reason could very well be on my end because I have never embedded anything from YouTube on this blog before so I hope it works.) let me give you a brief description.

Evidently, it is from a recent Dr. Phil show. The guest was the guy who produces the videos “Bum Fights” which consists of him walking around with a camera and paying homeless people to beat each other up or commit other such physical ugliness. One of the scenes actually has a homeless guy pulling his tooth out with a pair of pliers for a few dollars. To introduce his guest, Dr. Phil plays a video montage with the above mentioned scenes cross cut with the producer saying things like “We don’t exploit, we put them to work,” and other such non-sense. When the montage is over, we are back in the studio and the producer is sitting on one of the chairs. Phil turns to him and tells him to leave because he has nothing to say to him. A heated argument ensues and the producer is escorted out by security guards all to the chanting of the audience who are ecstatic that Phil stood up to this immoral jerk.

The telling line is when Phil says, “…having just seen this footage…”

Now, I have never watched the Dr. Phil show, so for all I know he has been laying down this kind of horseshit for years. I had the impression that he was one of those self-help guru type guys. The kind who gets fat people or drug addicts or habitual sex addicts on and tells them that they are fucking up, change your ways, etc. It always seemed silly to me but I understand there is a market for that sort of thing. No harm no foul. In other words, I always thought he was sincere as far as his content goes.

But this shit is a set-up, at the very least orchestrated by Phil to make himself look like a crusader for justice, or both Phil and his guest with the Bum Fight guy agreeing to be “sandbagged” because if he picks up sales worth $30.74 he considers it a net gain. The guest has no worries that his “image” or his “reputation” is being impugned. He is a man who produces a series of media called “Bum Fights,” I honestly don’t think he cares what society thinks of him.

So, if the Bum Fight guy is being dishonest is an open question, but there is absolutely no doubt that Phil is full of feces. Does he expect us to believe that he had NO IDEA what this guy did for a living? Does Phil think that we would actually believe that he was so overcome with moral outrage that he made a spontaneous decision to throw this guy off his set? Does he expect us to believe that all through the booking and preparation process that took place before the actual taping of this show, Phil didn’t pay any attention to the fact that the central guest of the episode was some guy who makes a living by paying bums to urinate on themselves? Is he suggesting that he has absolutely no idea what the hell is happening on his own show?

Come to think of it, Phil is starting to look more and more “Presidential” every day.

That this producer is a sleazebag, or at least amoral, there is no doubt. I have never saw any of these vignettes of human beings, people who polite society has written off, doing truly terrible things to other human beings…or themselves…but just the idea of displaying such human squalor for profit reeks of Randian capitalism. Looking at this guy’s material through that prism puts it all in perfect perspective…to me anyway.

But what of this Dr. Phil guy? He positions himself as a moral center that is going to lay down some truth and the world will be a much better place for his insight. This piece of footage proves that he is no better than a sensationalist hack that lucked out by having a powerful woman, Oprah, by into his jive, which led to the big house, the multiple cars and, I suspect most importantly, the external validation and recognition he so desperately needs to actually feel something…anything at all.

But here is the interesting part. As the guest was getting tossed off with a typically highbrow line used in a totally base cynical performance (“Sir, you could leave now”), in his defense said something that was actually the beginning of a discussion:

“You say that I am exploiting people, what do you call what you are doing? Why do you think people are watching your show?”

Yes, why do people watch this dreck? What the producer was suggesting, and I concur, is that the reasons why people watch the fat guy get chewed out or the dope fiend get chastised on shows like Dr. Phil are the same reasons why people view a homeless guy slam his head against a dumpster for $20…Either to see someone get humiliated or dehumanized and in the process feel better about their own lot in life.

This is not a new phenomenon. It goes all the way back to the Romans who would gather around and watch people being ripped apart by wild animals cheering the whole time giving each other the Latin equivalent of a high-five.

While the Roman example deals more with physical blood lust, the degradation of other human beings seems to have always been part of the spectrum of entertainment. From ancient Greek Tragedies; to traveling religious inquisitions which would create carnival like atmospheres whenever they would roll into town with the money-shot being the incineration of a human being whose crime was probably not being in conformist step; to human oddity shows where people would ridicule people inflicted with some disease that made them “different” so, therefore, to be feared; to current reality shows that reward obnoxious and completely unacceptable behavior as long as it produces “conflict.”

So Dr. Phil, instead of doing that totally trumped up “I’m offended” act and that is what it was…AN ACT…could have said something to the effect of:

“You sicken me but you do live in a very large house. After all these years of social evolution, why are purveyors of such detestable filth, like yourself, still able to prosper? Is it simply “human nature” or is it a learned behavior that we find joy and entertainment in someone else’s misery and spiritual breakdown? And why can someone who portrays himself as someone who clears away the bullshit and gets to the bottom of things, such as myself, book someone like you if I am not going to deal with the actual provocative questions your very existence raises and just do some kind of ratings stunt that gets people talking about me and maybe earns me a raise but does ABSOLUTELY nothing to further anyone’s insight into the human experience?”

Although the guest’s body of work is obviously more despicable, being that people probably get physically hurt in his videos, isn’t it fair to say that Dr. Phil is at least playing in the same league?

Larry

Half-Baked Cube Hits

1) You will never achieve any peace or contentment if you view the world as a referendum on you.


2) I find that most situations in life can be dealt with by using some lines from the movie Arthur:

Hobson:

Sir, it is really not my place to say.
On the other hand go screw yourself.

3) Does anyone else feel that John Oates got paid a whole shit load of money to play rhythm guitar?


4) The other day as I thumbed through some paperwork in my cube I had an epiphany. A society who allows a person to live comfortably producing this horse hooey all day is doomed to fail.


5) I contacted a Nobel Prize winning mathematician the other day. I asked him to calculate the mathematical probability of someone called England Dan meeting a guy named John Ford Coley. I haven't heard back from him yet but I would guess that it would be at least four to one.


6) Oh my sweet Jesus...

Bill Gates appearing in Teen Beat magazine in 1983.

7) I am feeling very optimistic about the near future. I feel we are on the cusp of a cultural explosion directly analogous to 1966. But the moment some guy like Jim Croce shows up it's all over.

In other words we must be on our guard...and I mean REALLY on our guard...because with extreme freedom of expression comes the truly horrific specter of some Gabe Kaplan looking mother-fucker, ass plopped down on a wooden stool next to some sycophantic jack ass, strumming their guitars, singing melodically pleasing balless trash, while nameless, personality challenged, indoctrinated drones sit sheepishly cross legged, blankly nodding...to what they have no idea.

Next stop Reagan.


8) When I was in the 8th grade I had a Social Studies teacher by the name of Mr. Kotin. Naturally, being thirteen year old boys, we called him Kotex.

Anyway, during one of his many snooze-fests at I.S. 364 in Brooklyn, the subject of World War II came up. I admit I completely forget in what context. I remember I raised my hand and said, “You know when you think about it, WW II was really good for America,” to which he replied “That is ridiculous,” and moved on to someone else who recited something from some outdated textbook.

My thought was that before we entered the war we were in a state of economic depression and somewhat subservient isolation. Afterwards we were the top dog of the world whose population not only had “a chicken in every pot” but two cars in every garage. For the most part that is. For expressing that incredibly simplistic yet somewhat truthful idea, I was pretty much told to shut up.

Mr. Kotin wasn’t a bad guy individually but you really have to question a society whose institutions deplore provocative statements from intellectually developing children instead of exploring their meanings and consequences.


9) In public restrooms, I feel that it is a huge etiquette no-no to deuce and dialog.


Larry

Hey Bulldog

"...(John Lennon) represented life, and that is admirable. Mr. Nixon, and Mr. Bush, represent death. And that is a bad thing."

Gore Vidal

12/8/2006


As I sit here in my cube, sipping a triple short mocha-chino with whip cream and cashew shavings on top, I ponder the cubist reality that I currently inhabit. A never ending paper chase which systemically indoctrinates the human soul to one of materialistic servitude. An existence where a third of your life…the only one you have…is spent hustling to "make your nut." A melancholy befalls upon me when I think of the world in these terms.

But before I become overcome with despair, an abstract sadness that comes from past regrets, missed opportunities or loss, I think of someone like John Lennon who was killed...gunned down on a New York street 26 years ago today...and I am bolstered. He was an artist who first understood, then promoted and finally became the embodiment of a simple mantra in an ocean of indifference:

There is more to life than just paying bills.

Another thought occurred to me as I wiped a hint of nutmeg off my upper lip. Some of you reading this were actually born after that fateful night in 1980. For those of you who fit that category, I suggest that you go to YouTube and do a search with his name and/or “The Beatles.” There is a wealth of visual material to be had there. Watch some of the interviews, performances and performance art pieces that will give you a taste of what is was like in a time when artists were not always empty-headed narcissists, materialist tools with self-congratulatory "conscience" or flat out assholes looking for their next free bottle of liquor. Some of them actually had something relevant to say.

It would be worth your time to do so, if only to find out that an alternative to apathetic resignation once existed...and not that long ago either.

John Lennon was 40 years old when he was murdered.


Larry

Day of Infamy

Yesterday, December 7, 1941 - a date which will live in infamy - the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan.

The United States was at peace with that nation and, at the solicitation of Japan, was still in conversation with its Government and its Emperor looking toward the maintenance of peace in the Pacific. Indeed, one hour after Japanese air squadrons had commenced bombing in Oahu, the Japanese Ambassador to the United States and his colleague delivered to the Secretary of State a formal reply to a recent American message. While this reply stated that it seemed useless to continue the existing diplomatic negotiations, it contained no threat or hint of war or armed attack.

It will be recorded that the distance of Hawaii from Japan makes it obvious that the attack was deliberately planned many days or even weeks ago. During the intervening time the Japanese Government has deliberately sought to deceive the United States by false statements and expressions of hope for continued peace.

The attack yesterday on the Hawaiian Islands has caused severe damage to American naval and military forces. Very many American lives have been lost. In addition American ships have been reported torpedoed on the high seas between San Francisco and Honolulu.

Yesterday the Japanese Government also launched an attack against Malaya. Last night Japanese forces attacked Hong Kong. Last night Japanese forces attacked Guam. Last night Japanese forces attacked the Philippine Islands. Last night the Japanese attacked Wake Island. This morning the Japanese attacked Midway Island.

Japan has, therefore, undertaken a surprise offensive extending throughout the Pacific area. The facts of yesterday speak for themselves. The people of the United States have already formed their opinions and well understand the implications to the very life and safety of our nation.

As Commander-in-Chief of the Army and Navy, I have directed that all measures be taken for our defense.

Always will we remember the character of the onslaught against us. No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the American people in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory.

I believe I interpret the will of the Congress and of the people when I assert that we will not only defend ourselves to the uttermost but will make very certain that this form of treachery shall never endanger us again.

Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory and our interests are in grave danger.

With confidence in our armed forces - with the unbounded determination of our people - we will gain the inevitable triumph - so help us God.

I ask that the Congress declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Japan on Sunday, December seventh, a state of war has existed between the United States and the Japanese Empire.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt
adressing the joint session of Congress
- December 8, 1941

Pier 1010

USS Nevada

USS Oglala

USS Shaw

Pier 1010 - another view

USS Downes and USS Cassin

The USS Arizona

The above reprinted text, President Roosevelt’s speech in response to the attack on Pearl Harbor 65 years ago today, is well known and quite easy to find in both print and on the web.

What is less familiar is the verbal reaction from Berlin reprinted here for the first time:

“Wir sind so gefickt……so völlig gefickt.”*

Adolf Hitler
Sitting on his toilet, pants and draws around his ankles,
reading the newspaper,shaking uncontrollably.
- December 8, 1941

Good thing too.

Larry




* - We are so fucked. So totally fucked.

Art for Art's Sake

12/4/2006


I know there are many of you out there who do not have basic cable. For philosophical reasons, you deprive yourself of one of the greatest developments of the modern world. Hundreds of channels of informative programming and quality entertainment could be at your fingertips at the flip of a switch but...no. You prefer to sit in your ivory tower looking down on the masses.

Well, don’t worry. It is not too late. You still have one day to break your self imposed exile and rejoin the land of the informed.

Tomorrow night on the USA Network at 9PM, it is the world television premiere of PATCH ADAMS!

Solid

With one telephone call, you could be watching Academy Award winning actor Robin Williams do schtick for 90 minutes while the other actors stand around watching, so removed from the star’s self-contained gags that all they could do is look directly into the camera and laugh. To break the monotony of this continuous yuk-fest, scenes of Williams directing serious righteous indignation at “The Man” are peppered throughout. These scenes (pictured above) are used to reassure the viewer that they are actually watching a film with a narrative instead of footage of a very unstable, talented man crying for help. Desperate cries which fall upon deaf ears. The working title of most of these projects is “I’m Dancing as Fast as I Can.”

So stop being such an elitist bastard and order…
You don’t know what you’re missing.

Larry