Fernando - You Look Marvelous!!!!

9/29/05
New York City

As Phil Rizzuto once quipped, "We got a real pressure cooker here."

Here in the Big Apple, a Battle Royale is beginning to shape up in the mayoral election next month. Billionaire Republican incumbent, Mike Bloomberg’s bottomless pockets and obscene bank accounts, are facing off against self-described "Man of the People" former Bronx Borough President Ferdinand Ferrer.

Holy Mother…

I can’t believe the Democrats fucked up again!!!

No, I haven’t took leave of my senses and…yes…I want Bloomberg out of office just as much as anyone else who has the remotest inkling on what it means to feel any empathy, compassion or hope …but lets get real here.

Ferrer is a complete loser.

I’ve always had my doubts about this guy, but what sealed the deal for me was this latest news story about how this clown had a posting on his "web blog," signed by him, waxing poetic about how good the public school system is because, after all, HE went to public schools HIMSELF and probably would have ended up in the gutter if not for the "caring public school teachers," etc. etc.

Yeah, you guessed it.

It turns out this asshole went to Catholic Private schools all his life, and, after he made a specific point about how his daughter is also a product of "The Public School System," she, yep…unbelievably…also went to private school.

Ferdinand Ferrer pictured here after
yet another meeting with some
Democratic Machine hack at some
smoke filled "social club" on City Island.

In fact, the only time this incredibly stupid man had probably ever been near a public school building were the times when his "bag-men" called in sick and he had to make the weekly pick-ups of overstuffed envelopes of cash from the local Bd of Ed "Union Reps" playing Hold-Um in the cafeteria.




I know what you are thinking,

Oh, what’s the big deal? He just misspoke. Politicians do it all the time. Hell, look at the guys running shit now. Do you think they tell the truth all the time?

No I don’t.

As a matter of fact, I do not think the current crop of jack asses in charge right now tell the truth even 25 percent of the time.

But two things trouble me about this whole ridiculous episode.

First of all, he tried to defend this obvious faux pas by blaming one of "his people." I think his exact quote was,

I send ideas and drafts and then they are edited.

Then why does he keep a web blog at all?

Aren’t Blogs supposed to be the personal thoughts of the person who keep them? I know nobody writes any of the perverse prose on these pages you are reading right now but me.

Like it or not…It is my own.

How can you compare yourself to this superb specimen of machismo? He is a busy politician and you are an overweight drunkard with a never-ending flapping pie hole. How could you possibly think he could have the time to keep up a blog?"

Fair enough.

Then WHY does he pretend to keep one?

Is it to sucker "the rubes" into thinking they’re getting an insider look at the thought processes of a great man as he rids the world off tyranny when, in reality, they are actually reading the musings of a file clerk named Shirley?

Secondly, there is so much shit going on right now, really scary shit that is threatening the very existence of the American republic itself, that there is ABSOLUTELY NO NEED to make anything up. Especially such a trivial thing that...I guess…Ferrer feels will "endear" him to the working class people who actually do the living and the dying in this town.

For example, here is a true story:

Acting on direct orders from the current Mayor, the New York City Police Department arrested my friend, along with thousands of other people, and held him in a makeshift cage on a filth riddled pier off the Hudson River for three days during last year’s disgraceful Republican National Convention.

What was his crime?

He was walking on the sidewalk near Union Square when the Men in Blue conducted a "sweep."

He wasn’t even a protester.

And why such literally Fascist orders were given in the first place?

Mayor Bloomberg seen here in his
private box at Madison Square Garden
during President George Bush's speech
at the Republican National Convention
September, 2004

Because Mayor Bloomberg did not want to "embarrass" the Republican big wigs he was knocking back HighBalls with at The Palm or Sparks Steakhouse on any given night during the convention. Any evidence of the overwhelming distaste New Yorkers have with the inhuman Republican policies had to be squashed.

They are the kind of orders Indonesian dictators give when the Red Cross comes to visit.

Besides, do you think my friend, and the thousands of others caught in the gears of "justice," experiencing such a flagrantly un-Constitutional and anti-American display from an elected leader, care if you went to a private or public school 30 years ago?

WHAT WE NEED IS SOME LEADERSHIP YOU FUCKING PRICK!!!!!

And the bottom line is if Ferrer, after all the crap that has gone on in this country, and this city, for the last five years, feels he has to resort to some kind of petty "image makeover" to get elected instead of actually just standing up and showing some balls, then he is obviously not the guy for us.

Not right now anyway.

Make that never.

As a side note, remember Ferrer is the guy we can blame for getting King "Longshanks" Bloomberg coronated in the first place.

In the 2001 election, even before Saint Rudolph de Bensonhurst blessed the Bostonian Prince Bloomy, Ferrer, in a move that can be characterized as selfish and egomaniacal, split the Democratic Party directly along racial lines by running a disastrous primary run-off against the favorite Mark Green.

He achieved this wonderful feat by siding with every ethnic or racial charlatan whom, in the already jingoistic post-9/11 atmosphere, emphatically and publicly accused the hapless Green of Racism.

What followed was pure ugliness which ended with Bloomberg standing on the pile of ill will grabbing the brass ring.

I want to be perfectly clear, I think Mark green was a spoiled, mealy-mouth, deushbag, whom viewed the Mayorship as his birthright. He probably would have had a terrible, inefficient and ‘you scratch my back I’ll scratch yours" type of administration. But the one thing this Joker wasn’t was a racist.

Christ, Green was one of the only white guys who publicly stuck with Al Sharpton back when he was trying VERY HARD to erase the Track Suit, Gold Medallion, Bad Perm, Fat Guy, discredited Bull Shit artist image back in the bad old days.

And before you say,

Well what could have Ferrer done? Green didn’t get the needed forty- percent of the vote to seal the nomination. There had to be a run-off.

All you have to do is look at this year for your answer. Ferrer himself did not get the needed 40 percent and there should have been a run off but the second place candidate, Anthony Wiener, decided for the good of the party, he would simply drop out.

I don’t know much about THAT guy, but when he was given a choice, he did the right thing. Ironically, and unfortunately for the City, the beneficiary of that decision is Ferrer who, given the same choice, decided to "go for his" and fuck us all.

So, as a registered voter of the City of New York my choice for Mayor this year is between a man whose idea of a good time is to count the outrageous amount of money he has made off the backs of working people and a fool who is so far up the asses of local political bosses that every time one of them farts Ferrer has to wash his face.


In the final analysis,
Shitberg wins...
Fuckrrer wins...
We lose.
Sixth Army

Incomplete Musings of the Cube Buddha

9/27/2005

1)A friend of mine once forwarded an e-mail to me that contained some “Right Leaning” quotations from George Carlin in favor of things like Gun Ownership and Racial Profiling. Judging by the names on the e-mail path this letter took to get to me, it sounded like this material was being circulated in an “AH-HA” and “YOU SEE” type of way, showing me that Liberals just “don’t get it.”

To be honest with you, I forgot what the exact quips were but the content did not really surprise me because I always considered Carlin to be somewhat of a “Truth Teller” and definitely a free thinker.

Well, the other day, Mr. Carlin appeared on the HBO live show “Real Time with Bill Maher.” Here are some of the things he said on that night:

"Elections and politicians are in place in order to give Americans the illusion that they have freedom of choice."

"The real looting in this country takes place in the transfer of the wealth from the poor to the rich. I’m sorry that you don’t like class and the truth, my friend…but you’re stuck with it. Class is class and the poor have been systematically looted in this country. The rich have been made richer under this criminal, fascist president and his government."

"When Fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Germany lost the Second World War but Fascism won it."

"The second function of a liberal democracy is to redress the grievances of the marketplace, the inequities of the marketplace. The chronically-poor in this country are a result of a badly-tilted game."

"25% of the people in this country, by actual polling, believe that the sun revolves around the earth. That's a fact; 25% believe that! Over half of them believe there's a man in the sky who throws fire when he doesn't like you. It's an absurdly ignorant country, and the education system will never save it. It's just selfish. It's a stupidity grown out of selfishness."

I just checked my inbox and, lo’ and behold, I haven’t received any forwarded e-mail with these quotes in it. Oh well…maybe tomorrow.



2) I don’t want to sound paranoid but I have come to the conclusion that all the employees of my local Key Food have my photograph and are under management’s direct order to discontinue stocking any food products I purchase more than once.

3) Now that the Pope’s physical body has proven itself fallible and passed away, I recommend that you put your money on Kurt Vonnegut in your local “dead pool.”

4) I may be crazy but I swear that girl I saw on the Number One train on my way to work this morning was also the “model” I saw on the internet site “Anal Destruction.com” that I accidentally logged on to last night.

5) On innocence in the technological age:

One of the reasons I dislike cell phones is the fact that when you are calling someone and the phone rings multiple times before going to voice mail, there is no doubt that that person is ignoring you.

6) Isn’t it ironic that people who use “shame” as a weapon the most have none of it themselves?

7) There are only two reasons possible how you can incur an “overlimit fee” of $30 (or more) from a credit card company:

A) The ridiculously high finance charges put the overall balance over the credit limit which means the cardholder did not “spend” the amount in question therefore should not be penalized.

B) The credit card company itself “approved” a sale that put the balance over the limit. If the company “penalizes” the customer for charging too much, implying the customer is doing something “wrong,” then why do they approve the charge in the first place?

It sounds like the credit card companies are fucking us again…

Sorry. I was just pointing out the obvious.


8) Being a native New Yorker, I can not, nor will not, forgive Mayor Mike Bloomberg for allowing and embracing the Republican National Convention to take place at Madison Square Garden in 2004 the same way I can never forgive Al Sharpton for taking part in the whole Tawana Brawley hoax in the late 80s.

I don’t give a shit how much they try to distance themselves from their respective debacles, I will never forget that these two guys think that it is cute to polarize a population for their own cynical and petty gain.

9) Doesn’t it bother anybody that the totally worthless pieces of shit, “Oh Heavenly Dog “(starring Chevy Chase as a talking a dog.), “Hero at Large” (starring John Ritter as a superhero want to be.) and “A Night in Heaven” (starring Christopher Atkins as a High School student who moonlights as a male-stripper.) were recently released on DVD while the very real historical cultural document “Let It Be” (Academy Award winning documentary filmed in 1969 of The Beatles rehearsing and recording the album of the same name.) sits in some vault somewhere gathering dust because the jackals can’t decide how to split up the shekels?

I am all for intellectual property rights but this is a crime.

10) Now that Benjamin Bratt, David Caruso and Chris Noth, after failing to generate any kind of a “film career” are all back on TV Cop Shows again, can Edward James Olmos be far behind?

11) And speaking of Olmos…Did you know that in 1983, NBC wanted to do an “update” of the 1970s crime drama “MacMillan and Wife” called “Macmillan and Long Time Companion” starring Rock Hudson and Robert Reed. When both of the actors turned NBC down, they offered the parts to Raymond Burr and Chuck Connors who both accepted the roles but could not perform due to health reasons.

And of course, as everyone knows, the production was then shut down, retooled, recast and renamed “Miami Vice.”

12) I just sat down and actually listened to the Loverboy song “Turn Me Loose.”

Holy shit does it suck.

13) I tried watching poker on TV the other day. I flipped to ESPN and some tournament was on. When the commentator, with a straight face, said:

Jesus has pocket fours.

I laughed so hard I almost fell out of my chair.

14) In his 17 years in the business, Pauly Shore has not produced one piece of quality entertainment close to watchable and yet he was still signed to star in his own reality series this year on TNT.

Whose cock is this guy sucking on any way?

Answer that question correctly, young Grasshopper, and you may proceed to the next level of enlightenment.

Sixth Army

Tucker the Fucker

9/21/05



In the aftermath of Katrina, here are some quotes from some important people in the federal government. They reveal a serious lack of competence, compassion, responsibility, accountability and leadership.

I don't think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees. They did anticipate a serious storm, but these levees got breached and as a result, much of New Orleans is flooded - and now we're having to deal with it, and we will.

President George W Bush - September 1, 2005
On ABC’s “Good Morning America”
Showing off his knowledge of the situation.

So we planned for it two years ago. Last year, we exercised it. And unfortunately this year, we're implementing it.

FEMA Director Michael Brown - August 31, 2005
On CNN’s “Larry King Live”
Discussing FEMA’s pre-hurricane preparation and response.

Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job.

President George W Bush - September 2, 2005
In Mobile, Alabama
Congratulating Michael Brown on his job performance.

This is a city built on the coast in an area that has hurricanes in it that is built below sea levels and that is a soup bowl. People have talked for years about, you know, whether it makes sense to have a city like that.

Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff - September 4, 2005
On NBC’s “Meet the Press”
Evidently trying to blame the unfolding natural and bureaucratic catastrophe on New Orleans itself for existing in the first place.

We just learned of the Convention Center,we being the federal government, today.

FEMA Director Michael Brown – Sept. 1, 2005
On ABC’s “Nightline”
Trying to explain why the lack of support for several thousand people stranded at the Convention Center with no food and water for two days was not HIS fault.

I have not heard a report of thousands of people in the convention center who don't have food and water."

Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff – September 1, 2005
On NPR’s “All Things Considered”
Explaining why HE is not to blame for the misery at the Convention Center.

What I'm hearing, which is sort of scary, is that they all want to stay in Texas. Everybody is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this, this is working very well for them.

Barbara Bush - September 5, 2005
In the Houston Astrodome
Trying to cause an armed revolt in 2005, just like there was under the first George Bush in Los Angeles in the early 1990s.

If these statements do not immediately enrage you and you are still holding on to the pipedream that this administration gives a shit, this piece of writing appeared in the The Times-Picayune in 2002. The New Orleans based newspaper were not the only media outlet that had written about this scenario (Pieces also appeared in National Geographic and CNN among others) but this article seems to be the one that was the most accurate.

Tim Russert read it out loud on NBC’s “Meet the Press” on September 4, 2005:

...A major hurricane could decimate the region, but flooding from even a moderate storm could kill thousands. It's just a matter of time. ... The scene's been played out for years in computer models or emergency operations simulations... New Orleans has hurricane levees that create a bowl with the bottom dipping lower than the bottom of Lake Pontchartrain. ...the levees would trap any water that gets inside-- by breach, overtopping or torrential downpour--catastrophic storm. ... The estimated 200,000 or more people left behind in an evacuation will be struggling to survive. Some will be housed at the Superdome, the designated shelter for people too sick or inform to leave the city. ...But many will simply be on their own, in homes or looking for high ground. Thousands will drown while trapped in homes or cars by rising water. Other will be washed away or crushed by debris. Survivors will end up trapped on roofs, in buildings or on high ground surrounded by water, with no means of escape and little food or fresh water, perhaps for several days.

Given all that is known about the performance of this administration during this crisis. After watching this administration allow one of the most important global cultural centers in the western hemisphere turn into a den of anarchy and chaos. After viewing the sickening images of American citizens, stranded on rooftops and cavernous hellholes for days, begging for food and water and not receiving it. After learning that this administration knew that upwards of 100,000 American citizens were stranded in hip high sewage sludge and chemical waste, hot temperatures and unbearably humid air, surrounded by decaying corpses and debris, and still did not get off their asses, this is what Tucker Carlson had to say to his guest Bill Maher on the MSNBC show "The Situation with Tucker Carlson" on September 20, 2005:

One serious doushbag.

"Aren't you repulsed by Clinton's never ending self-righteousness? The other day, over the weekend, he says essentially, I would have done a better job responding to Katrina because I am a better person, great guy, look at me, great administration. Doesn't the constant bragging make you want to throw up?"





Bill Clinton's performance during this disaster makes Fucker want to throw up?

What do the other guys make him feel like doing? Does he get aroused watching Bush fuck up yet again and start rubbing his hand up and down his shaft until he produces an ejaculation?

How can anybody take anything any of these pied pipers of fecal matter say seriously?

I am reminded of the time I was getting a ride home with a self-described “somewhat conservative” guy back in the late 1990s. It was around the time the Republican Party was outraged about the behavior of Bill Clinton and were pushing full speed ahead with an impeachment proceeding because President Clinton “disgraced the office of the President…”

I’m sorry. I had to pause for a minute after writing that sentence because it is just so ridiculously funny!

Anyway, this is when right wing talk radio was really in full gear. All of the shit heads (Rush Limbaugh, Et. Al.) were in full gear. I personally never listened to them during this period for two reasons:

1) I had a decent job which required my full attention to perform. I’ve noticed, over the years, there is a direct correlation between the quality and quantity of my employment status and which party the President of the United States belongs to.

2) I found most of the point of views spewed were just childish variations of the angry white guy spiel which I found personally uninteresting because, after all, I was no longer in High School, either physically or intellectually. You know the kind of themes I am talking about: Fear of women; Fear of Immigrants; Fear of Minorities; Fear of Homosexuals; etc. You get the point, the key word was fear which, as we all know, easily develops into Hate or vice-versa.

So my friend has one of these guys on (Could have been Savage, but I really don’t remember, nor care for that matter) and for the last thirty minutes of the ride I was subjected to caller after caller yelling about Hillary Clinton (Who was the only the First Lady at the time) followed by passionate ranting and raving by the host agreeing with and egging on the listeners.

Like I mentioned before, I never listened to these shows before so I was finding out interesting information like, Hillary was a murderer; She was a lesbian; She was a Con woman; A thief and of course she was evil incarnate.

Do you see the recurring theme?

Although the language differed slightly, every caller, and the ringleader host himself, all said the same thing,

Shut your fucking mouth you uppity bitch and get back in the kitchen. And if you don’t shut that pie hole the fuck up, learn your place and get pregnant, we’ll shut it for you.

I thought these primitive “talking points” were coming in loud and clear and, to be perfectly frank, I was dismayed, disgusted and disturbed.

As we arrived in front of my house I felt so dirty and appalled that I deemed it necessary to say something. I told my friend that I was just subjected to at least 30 minutes of hate and bile and I did not find it, nor could I possibly find it anywhere near entertaining which seemed to be his take on this idiot’s rants.

At that point, with a deadly serious facial, he told me:

I am so pissed and fed up at what’s going on right now and what this guy and the Democrats are doing to this country. And I’m not alone.

He was very serious.

It was just that I had no idea what he was so mad about:

The great economy?
The years of peace?
The President’s general intelligence and charisma?
His own cock size?

I really had no idea.

I just wonder sometimes, after watching this administration in action for the last five years, a real bunch of responsible problem solvers, on whose watch we have seen:

The economy tank

The World Trade Center, the symbol of our prestige, attacked and destroyed

The Pentagon, the symbol of our security, attacked

The invasion of Iraq with no plan, victory or exit strategy, that has cost thousands of lives and counting

The price of gasoline hit $3 a gallon

The price of low grade meat hit $5 a pound

The price of milk go over $1 a quart

The destruction of one of the cultural mother lodes of North America

The abandonment of thousands of US citizens in unconscionable situations

…just how pissed is he now?

As plain as the nose on your face
Sixth Army

Ben...Where Have You Gone?

9/19/05


Written in 1997 by Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, the academy award winning script for the film "Good Will Hunting," is about a mathematical prodigy named Will whom the Government and several big corporations try to recruit.

The movie has this scene representing one such meeting:

N.S.A. Executive

So the question as I see it isn't "why should you work for N.S.A." it's "why shouldn't you?"

WILL

Why shouldn't I work for the National Security Agency? That's a tough one.

Let’s see.

Say I'm working at N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. So I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself, 'cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people I never had a problem with get killed.

Now the politicians are sayin' "send in the Marines to secure the area” ‘cause they don't give a shit. It
won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't them when their number got called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some guy from Southie takin' shrapnel in the ass. And he comes home to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, 'cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks.

Meanwhile my buddy from Southie realizes the only reason he was over there was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price.
And of course the oil companies used the skirmish to scare up oil prices so they could turn a quick buck. A cute, little ancillary benefit for them but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. And naturally they're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink seven and sevens and play slalom with the icebergs and it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil, and kills all the sea-life in the North Atlantic.

So my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive so he's got to walk to the job interviews which sucks 'cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorrhoids. And meanwhile he's starvin' 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat the only blue-plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State.

So what'd I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. I figure I'll eliminate the middle man. Why not just shoot my buddy, take his job and give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard?

Christ, I could be elected President.

This is eerily prophetic dialogue. Wasn't the character Will's description of our foreign policy and course of action pretty accurate and came to pass pretty much word for word five years AFTER it was written?

I have made fun of Mr. Lopez and the disasterous career choices he has made ever since this film just as much as the next guy but, "Pearl Harbor" and "Surviving Christmas" come to mind immediately, but, in retrospect, is it possible that he just knew things that we didn't?

It would explain Gigli.

Sixth Army

Lose Your Illusion

9/15/05

"Give me a
$1,000 Hard Eight!"

“I was on a real roll. Since I left Law and Order, I made six films. The whole reason I left Law and Order was I wanted to have a life. That show was a huge commitment. I said to myself I would never do series television again.

So when I read the scripts for E-Ring, the new NBC Washington based political suspense thriller, I called up my wife and said this is something I HAVE TO DO. They were THAT good.”

-Benjamin Bratt
during the NBC Fall Preview Junket
at The Stratosphere Hotel & Casino
Las Vegas, Nevada
September 8, 2005

"Hey man. Do you know if
C-Town's bottle return room
is open till 12?"

“Saul…Saul…Oh...all right...is he in? It’s Bennie. You know…Bennie… from Law and Order. Yeah…that guy…is he there? OK, when will he be back? Can you just…anyway can you PLEASE tell him I called…again. Please, I beg you. Just tell him…just tell him I spoke with my wife…who was on the phone with the bank and things…things are kind of getting real bad…anyway can you tell him…just tell him I’ll take anything…ANYTHING…I’ll even go back to TV. Please…please…do you think he’ll call me back?”


-Benjamin Bratt
during a bitterly cold February afternoon
on a pay phone at 187th Street & Broadway
New York, New York
February 8, 2005


Dealer's Choice
Sixth Army

J'ACCUSE!!

9/7/05


I want to make one thing perfectly clear: I believe Katrina, the hurricane that caused the harrowing devastation on the Gulf Coast recently, was NOT the fault of the President of the United States George Bush, the Governor of Louisiana Kathleen Babineaux Blanco or the Mayor of New Orleans Ray Nagin.

But these photographs are:

Citizens of the United States of America

Left to die.

Chaos and Anarchy within DAYS.

"What's beyond...Thunderdome."

The richest nation on Earth...

...could not air lift these people out?

Names that should haunt every elected official
From Baton Rouge to Washington DC
For the rest of their lives.

I was going to write a long post about this topic, and I might do so in the future, but in the process of finding pictures for my post all my "clever anger" and articulate rebukes seemed so meaningless. Just LOOKING at these photographs is powerful enough.

Maybe this hurricane, years from now, will be viewed as the turning point in the saving of our civilization because President Bush’s blatant disregard for human life and the priority of property rights is so obvious and directed right at the heart of “Red America” that maybe people, decent people, who are shrugging their shoulders now will actually join the fight back to humanity.

Kind of like in the 1960s when the great apathetic majority of America finally got behind, or at least agreed with, the civil rights movement AFTER seeing the images of innocent, peaceful black demonstrators being maliciously sprayed with high pressure fire hoses by white southern Buford T Justice types.


After all that has happened in the last week can you imagine someone still defending this administration?

What the hell is there to say?

We should ALL feel ashamed of ourselves.
Sixth Army